1. |
Identity
01:39
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2. |
Panic
02:55
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Do you know what it’s like
To always feel like you’re about to die?
I’m nauseous. I’m having a heart attack.
My head hurts. I’m exhausted
This feeling will never end
This feeling will never end
I’m exhausted
Repetitive thoughts screaming at me
Over and over and over and over again
They’re not real, but they’re
Screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and screaming and
Now I’m burning up and my head is floating away
Its a brain tumor. It’s an aneurism
Now I’m freezing and it’s making me shiver
My muscles are weak. I have a degenerative disease
This feeling will never end
This feeling will never end
I’m exhausted
My heart is racing and pounding and skipping and racing and pounding and
My skin is hot as a flame
And I’m dying, dying, dying, dying, dying and
Do you know what it’s like
To always feel like you’re about to die?
I’m nauseous. I’m having a heart attack.
My head hurts. I’m exhausted
This feeling will never end
This feeling will never end
I’m exhausted
I wake up on the floor, so cold
Cold, cold, cold, cold as ice
And try to recover until
It happens again and again and again and again and
This feeling will never end
This feeling will never end
I’m exhausted X3
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3. |
O.C.D.
03:31
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It’s not always about cleaning floors and counting tiles
Perfect organization and alphabetized files
It’s thinking that if you don’t blink six times
Everyone you love will get sick and die
It’s knowing it’s irrational but not being able to stop
It’s physically exhausting and it’s never enough
Just tap this wall eight more times and you’ll be fine
Eight more later and I still might die
Are you sure you locked the door?
Maybe you should check once more
I know ten isn’t excessive
But maybe it’s obsessive
Time to check that text again to make sure you’re still my friend
I am certain I said something wrong, yet again
I reread every message as if it’s in secret code
‘Cuz if I dig enough, you’ve hated me all along
Are you sure you locked the door?
Maybe you should check once more
I know ten isn’t excessive
But maybe it’s obsessive
Blinking more as each and every lamppost passes by
High beams blind me as they catch me right in the eye
I blink and blink and blink despite the pain
After all, what’s just one more headache?
Are you sure you locked the door?
Maybe you should check once more
I know ten isn’t excessive
But maybe it’s obsessive
Are you sure you locked the door?
Maybe you should check once more
I know ten isn’t excessive
But maybe it’s obsessive
Well it may be obsessive
I guess I’m just obsessive
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4. |
Sadness
02:51
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As I lie in filthy sheets
No longer room for you and me
Streaks of blue of fractured you
The me I wish I could amount to
The warm embrace of being alone
Wrapped around me like my favorite coat
Tread the halls like some kind of ghost
Are you deafened by the sound?
I wish I could be someone’s dream
Instead I’m ripped at the seams
Instead I’m not what I seem
I wish I could be someone’s dream
Instead there’s more to write
Instead I’m never right
Oh why?
Half the time I’m not aware
Of who is here and what strikes where
Tell me am I supposed to care
When there’s no more getting down
I wish I could be someone’s dream
Instead I’m ripped at the seams
Instead I’m not what I seem
I wish I could be someone’s dream
Instead there’s more to write
Instead I’m never right
Oh why?
I wish I could be someone’s dream
Instead I’m ripped at the seams
Instead I’m not what I seem
I wish I could be someone’s dream
Instead there’s more to write
Instead I’m never right
Maybe next time
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5. |
Loneliness
05:24
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I could disappear entirely
Fuse with this couch
Vanish into it’s tight tan weave
Melt into linoleum floors
And no one would notice
Or they just wouldn’t care
Until they realized they need my help
And I did this to myself
So I shouldn’t be so upset
But I just want one thing that’s not on me
And I feel like a stranger
In my own body, in my own head
And they all know I don’t belong here anymore
So they treat me like a stranger
In my old friendships, my old haunts
And I can hardly blame them because it’s not their fault
So what’s the point if it’s not up to me?
When it all depends on what I can’t control
Might as well just not at all
And I did this to myself
So I shouldn’t be so upset
But I just want one thing that’s not on me
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6. |
Dysphoria
02:24
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7. |
Anxiety
03:07
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You miss so much of life
When you’re trapped inside your house
When you’re lost in your own mind
And you’ll never make it out
Oh, why won’t you leave me?
Who knew anxiety could be so sad?
You miss so much of life
When you’re too scared to come out
All your thoughts are locked inside
And they’ll never make it out
Oh, why won’t you leave me?
Who knew anxiety could be so sad?
You lose so many things
When there’s too much in your way
Might as well live with it
Anxiety’s here to stay
Oh, why won’t you leave me?
Who knew anxiety could be so sad?
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8. |
Isolation
03:56
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Hour by hour, I swear I could wait all afternoon
My only friend in my head saying “no one will miss you”
Focused, I notice the notes on my wall begin to fall
Worried, don’t hurry, I don’t want to see you at all
So please don’t make this about you
I know it’s hard for you not to
Days come and go, you don’t call anymore, I don’t miss you
You were my friend in my head telling me it’s all my fault
Isn’t it most sad for me? I can’t breathe but no one cares
Falling, I’m calling to you, you can’t hear me, you’re not there
So please don’t make this about you
I know it’s hard for you not to
And I don’t know where to go from here
How do I get back on track?
Or do I want to derail?
And I don’t know where to go from here
Do I get on track?
Or should I just derail? Should I just derail?
Oh, don’t let me derail
Just don’t make this about you (don’t worry, no one would miss you)
Although I know you’re going to (you don’t call and I don’t miss you)
Just don’t make this about you (don’t worry, no one would miss you)
Although I know you’re going to (you don’t call and I don’t miss you)
Hour by hour by hour by…
Day after day after day…
No one would miss you, no one would miss you, would miss you, would miss you, would...
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9. |
Mania
03:00
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Running out of time
Ruining my second chances
Second guessing, misdirection
When will I begin again?
Another day to keep pretending
Another day to bleed myself dry
I love you, I miss you, I can’t live without you
Where are you going?
I’m sorry, who the fuck are you?
I talk so fast yet, I don’t say a thing
Acquire tastes I don’t really have
Make best friends I’ll never see again
Plunge myself into crippling debt
Running out of time
Ruining my second chances
Second guessing, misdirection
When will I begin again?
Running out of time
Ruining my second chances
Second guessing, misdirection
When will I begin again?
Just as soon as comfort settles in
A sink in feeling’s creeping down my spine
C’mon girl, it’s time to face the facts
Counting down until those moments when
I’m crying on the bathroom floor
I’m late for work, I’m skipping school
I’m telling you I hate your guts
I’m sleeping the whole day away
And it’s no one’s fault, but this will happen again
It’s just a matter of when I reset
Promise me you’ll still be my friend
When all of this is over
But it’s never over, over
Running out of time
Ruining my second chances
Second guessing, misdirection
When will I begin again?
Running out of time
Ruining my second chances
Second guessing, misdirection
When will I begin again?
Running out of time
Ruining my second chances
Second guessing, misdirection
When will I begin again?
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10. |
Tranquility
01:11
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